4 Pieces Of Flare No Truck Can Do Without
More flair Jimmy more flair. This exact phrase emanates from my stupid managers pie hole every morning. You see hes the manager of the restaurant where I wait tables. You may have heard of it; Jollys Cantina. Anyway Jollys is one of those restaurants that they fill with kitsch in an attempt to manufacture some atmosphere. And as a Jollys employee its my job to fill my uniform with flair and act as jolly as possible.
The job wouldnt be so bad if it werent for my boss Miles. Hes one of those restaurant managers who take his role very seriously. You know; one of those super skinny guys with a tie and a zitpocked face who runs around so fast youd swear he eats jet fuel for breakfast. Well Miles and I dont quite see eye to eye on the Jollys uniform requirements. I don the bare minimum that the rules stipulate but Miles sees my efforts as purely mediocre. Thats why every morning he bombards me with the flair.
When Im not waiting tables I out cruisin in my 2002 Dodge Ram with a Cummins diesel. This baby sits sky high on a 12 lift kit and 44 monster mudders. Ive got an AEM intake Edge injectors a Superchips Flash Paq and an MBRP 5 exhaust. Needless to say the old Dodge is one badass beast of a rig.
The other night driving home after a mindnumbing shift with Miles on my back I got pulled over by the local cop. Hes a mean one the kind of cop thatd give your grandma a ticket for being too old. I couldnt believe it but old Roscoe pulled me over for my tires. He said they were sticking out too far from under the wheel wells. When I asked Barney Miller what I was supposed to do about it he said first pay the ticket then get some fender flares. All I could hear was; more flair Jimmy more flair.
When I calmed down I realized I could use these fender flares to help solve my flair problem with Miles. If that creep wanted more flair he was gonna get itin a big way. My plan was to simply install the flares and then show Miles what Id done. The next time he asks for more flair Ill just direct his attention to my truck. There ya go Miles all the flare/flair you can handle.
2 nights later I called in sick and had my shift covered by my buddy Juan. During his break Juan called to tell me that Miles was fuming mad and cursing my name to anyone whod listen. He was calling me a goldbrick and a champion for mediocrity. This got me so mad that I hopped into my truck and sped down to Jollys to have it out with Miles.
When I spied Miles smoking a cigarette out behind Jollys my temper just flared. Without thinking I mashed the throttle on that old Cummins and in a billow of black smoke I launched the Dodge right over Miles Merkur XR4Timonster truck style. Those big mudders were churning up glass and metal throwing debris all over Jollys back lot. The best part wasnt the stupid look on Miles face but the way my new fender flares kept the flying debris from scratching my rig!
In the end I lost my job but I have a new one down at the quarry. The hours and pay are great and I dont have to deal with Miles anymore. And the only flair I have to contend with is the cool set of fender flares that are still doing a great job of protecting my truck.
About the writer: Whether you have to add flair to your uniform or add Fender Flares to your truck the internet is a great resource for both. As far as the truck flares I went with a set of EGR Fender Flares. Tim Saunier
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